Yesterday, I came across the moment of the insider brother’s liquidation on @Hyperbotai, and my thoughts were suddenly drawn far away, giving rise to countless waves.
Looking back at 2023, I had just worked for 2 years, and my biggest wish was to save up 500,000 RMB.
In 2024, I accidentally entered the door of Crypto, and my entire worldview instantly collapsed and was reshaped. After experiencing the frenzy of Solana memes, I saw the wealth myths related to Trump, and my originally simple view of money began to distort, both excited and uneasy, with the three poisons of greed, anger, and ignorance quietly intertwined, escalating more and more.
In the months from the end of 2024 to the beginning of 2025, I was under high-pressure research and investment every day, with only a few thousand U in hand, desperately looking for high-multiplication opportunities on the chain. To grab a pre-sale, I could stay up until 6 or 7 in the morning. I remember participating in @daosdotworld and getting on a whitelist; 1 ETH eventually sold for 10 ETH, and that profit of more than 20,000 U made me so excited that I trembled.
Later, as I participated in more and more projects, I could almost earn 5k–10k U from each transaction. I remember clearly every retweet from Musk and every interaction from Toly. During that time, I was particularly good at playing fixed CA's secondary market, like when Musk changed his avatar to Kekius Maximus, perfectly timing the rhythm.
The principal accumulates quickly, and the appetite rises accordingly. Human greed is like a snake swallowing an elephant, starting to fantasize that every transaction can earn 100k–200k U, with amounts ranging from 500k–1,000k U. Bets on Aster, XPL, and Binance Life have all paid off handsomely, reaching levels of over a million dollars. Unfortunately, I mistook the gifts of the times for my own talent, not realizing that this was merely a temporary borrowing from the circumstances of the times, not something I inherently possessed.
So I continue to go all in, without reducing leverage or pool entry rates. Even though many friends advised against it, I still frequently took action in the extremely illiquid months of December and January.
Greed is like a rolling snowball, growing larger and larger. After tasting sweetness in the meme space, I failed to realize in time that the game rules had quietly changed: from PVE to brutal PVP. Soon, all previous floating profits were given back, and even more.
After failing on the meme battlefield, I attempted to replicate the perfect right-side trading from ETH's rise from $1900 to $4500, opening both long and short positions on contracts. However, with shallow contract experience and encountering a prolonged 'painting door' market without strict stop-losses, I ultimately fell hard again.
I also suffered significant losses in several counterfeit narratives, overly believing in buidl, and after several consecutive failures, my mindset completely collapsed. Big gains and losses come from the same source.
This is also the reason why my output and trading have recently decreased. The rhythm has become increasingly off; the 'loss of spiritual power' that I often mentioned is actually this state. I remember Gu Gu saying: everyone has their own flowering period.
(In the bloom) that classic line resonated with me deeply; climbing to the peak requires immense endurance and a long time, but falling down often happens in an instant.
If a solid foundation is not laid, blindly seeking to surpass one's own capabilities and competing wildly with others will ultimately lead to self-destruction.
So the current state is more like a proactive dormancy: less operation, lowering expectations, and learning to reconcile with oneself.
Frequent trading makes it difficult to maintain a high win rate over the long term; the gifts of the times are never because of my extraordinary talent.
Seeking outward is not as good as turning inward.
On the day the wind comes, I will make another attempt.
At the same time, I also began to contemplate matters beyond trading, such as how to build my own cash flow and stable income. Sometimes I reflect on how quickly humanity changes. I used to be very content with a small world and a little bit of small happiness; whereas now, my world has become vast, filled with various unknowns and complexities, accompanied by 'greed, anger, ignorance, arrogance, and doubt.' It is these obsessions with wanting 'more' that gradually drag me down.
The time that could have achieved semi-financial freedom early on was instead lost due to insatiable greed, ultimately leading to the current state of turmoil and pain.
Diligently cultivate precepts, meditation, and wisdom to transform shared karma. Just like the widely circulated saying: people cannot earn money beyond their understanding; even if luck brings it, it is likely to be lost due to lack of skill.
When faced with people, events, or things beyond comprehension, the only solution is to continue learning, reading, and evolving one's thinking to no longer fear and to view the surrounding environment as controllable.
If one's own strength is not enough to fall and rise again in adversity, one cannot hold onto the existing fruits.
All phenomena arise from conditions, and all phenomena cease due to conditions; all conditioned phenomena are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, and shadows.
May this dormancy, like the hibernation of winter insects, be for a better bloom next time.
