Below is a **Binance Square–optimized version** designed for engagement, retention, and comment bait.
Structure: hook → short dialogue bursts → meme pacing → community CTA.
Keep it punchy, scroll-stopping, and formatted for mobile readability.
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# ☕️ METAVERSE COFFEE SHOP: The Day Grandpa Bought The Wrong Pepe
Three crypto maxis walk into a metaverse café.
Only one leaves emotionally stable.
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👕 **ETHan (Ethereum Maxi)**
💨 **SOLana (Solana Maxi)**
💎 **DogeDad (Bought DOGE at $0.70)**
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**ETHan:**
“Bro. Base just cloned Uniswap again and called it innovation.”
**SOLana:**
“At least users don’t need to sell a kidney to mint a JPEG.”
**ETHan:**
“That’s culture.”
**SOLana:**
“That’s gas fees.”
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👴 *DogeDad enters, sweating slightly.*
**DogeDad:**
“Quick question… is it too late to buy Pepe? The frog has a hat. That’s bullish.”
**ETHan:**
“Which Pepe?”
**DogeDad:**
“Pepe Unchained. Sounds faster.”
**SOLana:**
“Layer 2 Frog. 100,000 TPS. Ribbit scalability.”
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🚨 *Five minutes later…*
**DogeDad:**
“I accidentally bought ‘Pepe’s Scrotum.’”
**ETHan:**
“That contract has a 98% sell tax.”
**SOLana:**
“Dev owns 70%. You ARE the liquidity.”
**DogeDad:**
“Diamond hands.”
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📉 *Notification sound*
BTC: -2%
Altcoins: -30%
**ETHan:**
“Why is everything nuking?”
**SOLana:**
“Healthy correction.”
**DogeDad:**
“Buying more.”
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📊 Market Cap: $14M
💧 Liquidity: $600
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**SOLana:**
“I’m going to touch grass.”
**ETHan:**
“On which chain?”
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*Dev removes liquidity.*
**DogeDad:**
“…long-term hold.”
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## 🧠 Moral of the story:
* Check the contract address
* Check liquidity
* If it has a hat… it’s not a thesis
* If TikTok told you… you’re probably exit liquidity
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### 👇 Be honest:
Have you EVER bought a token just because:
* It had “Pepe” in the name?
* It had “Elon” in the name?
* It had “AI” in the name?
Drop your worst degen moment below. No judgment. This is a safe space. 😭
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