Existential Perfectionism: "I should live a perfect life."
A regrettable type of perfectionism, existential perfectionism is based on the myth of the ideal life.
Key beliefs: "Life should always be fulfilling," "I should only do what I want," "I should always be happy," "My relationships should be wonderful," "My work shouldn't be boring."
The result of existential perfectionism is a syndrome of dissatisfaction. A person is rarely satisfied, constantly thinking about how to improve their situation, constantly complaining, and insisting that they will settle for nothing less than perfect circumstances.
The dream is the idea that there is a secret key that unlocks the door to a perfect life. Such a relentless pursuit of happiness will inevitably make you unhappy. Life is not designed for you to be happy and satisfied. Life is what happens to you and what you choose for yourself and others. There is no perfect life, perfect emotions, or perfect relationships.
A full range of emotions is common.
You need to be prepared for ups and downs, and some downs will be truly terrible. Unrealistic demands on life can increase your regrets. Existential perfection is of no use to you. How do I know that? The answer is: it doesn't exist. You need to live your life, and yes, there will be regrets sometimes. The goal is to not let them get the better of you.
Regrets are part of a fulfilling life. It's like having a closet full of clothes for different occasions, and every now and then you put on a jacket filled with regrets. But you have a choice: you can hang it back up. Or you can try other opportunities, other ideas, other behaviors. Regret is just one option, but not the only one.
